Funny T Shirt Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with Guess on it…so I said Implants?”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says If an emergency, notify: I put DOCTOR. What’s my mother going to do?”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“God must love stupid people. He made SO many.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Some people say If you can’t beat them, join them. I say If you can’t beat them, beat them, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.”
– Funny T-Shirt Saying

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