Short Funny Quotes And Sayings For Quick Humor

by allinspiration.com

“If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.”
– Laurence J. Peter

“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”
– Bill Maher

“Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.”
– Anonymous

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
– Maryon Pearson

“We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses.”
– Bonnie Lin

“Constant change is here to stay.”
– Anonymous

“A true friend stabs you in the front.”
– Oscar Wilde

“A friend to all is a friend to none.”
– Aristotle

“Friends are relatives you make for yourself.”
– Eustache Deschamps

“The best time to make friends is before you need them.”
– Ether Barrymore

“It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”
– John Leonard

“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.”
– Sicilian proverb

“Humor is also a way of saying something serious.”
– T.S. Eliot

“Time is God‘s way to keep everything from happening at once.”
– James Brown

“I don’t care what is written about me as long as it isn’t true.”
– Katherine Hepburn

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.”
– Seneca

“After dinner rest a while, after supper walk a mile.”
– Spanish Proverb

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
– Warren Zevon

“Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.”
– Paul Erdos

“I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.”
– Ian L. Fleming

“There is only one happiness in life — to love and to be loved.”
– George Sand

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”
– Robert Frost

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

“God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created mothers”
– Jewish proverb

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