More Witty Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.”
– Steven Wright

“I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.”
– Steven Wright

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
– Steven Wright

“There are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“It’s better to be quotable than to be honest.”
– Tom Stoppard

“I like marriage. The idea.”
– Toni Morrison

“As I get older, I just prefer to knit.”
– Tracey Ullman

“I think serial monogamy says it all.”
– Tracey Ullman

“Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.”
– Victor Hugo

“The superfluous, a very necessary thing.”
– Voltaire

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”
– W. C. Fields

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
– W. C. Fields

“I like children – fried.”
– W. C. Fields

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”
– W. C. Fields

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
– W. C. Fields

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”
– Walt Disney

“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.”
– Will Durant

“I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.”
– Will Rogers

“Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure.”
– William Saroyan

“I failed to make the chess team because of my height.”
– Woody Allen

“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”
– Woody Allen

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
– Woody Allen

“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.”
– Woody Allen

“I never said most of the things I said.”
– Yogi Berra

“He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

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