Funny As Hell Sayings And Quotes To Amuse You

by allinspiration.com

“The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead”
– Unknown

“Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot”
– Unknown

“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’ll get change”
– Unknown

“If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid”
– Unknown

“If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?”
– Unknown

“A company is known by the people it keeps”
– Unknown

“At some time in the lifecycle of every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out”
– Unknown

“If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges”
– Unknown

“If you don’t know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. ”
– Unknown

“Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them”
– Unknown

“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity”
– Unknown

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether”
– Unknown

“A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer”
– Unknown

“If at first you don’t succeed, try management”
– Unknown

“Indecision is the key to flexibility”
– Unknown

“Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job”
– Unknown

“A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time”
– Unknown

“An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame”
– Unknown

“Speak the truth, but leave immediately after”
– Unknown

“For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake”
– Unknown

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary”
– Vidal Sassoon

“Anything too stupid to be said is sung.”
– Voltaire

“Nothing recedes like success”
– Walter Winchell

“Wall Street is the only place people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from people who take the subway.”
– Warren Buffett

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it”
– WC Fields

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ”
– William Archibald Spooner

“A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it”
– William Feather

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on another part of my body,”
– Winston Bennett

“Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”
– Winston Churchill

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they’re on the same side.”
– Zig Ziglar

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