Funny As Hell Sayings And Quotes To Amuse You


Funny As Hell Sayings And Quotes To Amuse You

Here is a collection of funny as hell sayings and quotes from various authors, celebrities, famous persons, and other sources compiled by for you to read and enjoy.

“It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse
– Adlai Stevenson

“We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
– Al Gore

“There’s nothing so improves the mood of the Party as the imminent execution of a senior colleague”
– Alan Clark

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
Albert Einstein

“If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn’t have a job if he was smarter. ”
– Albert Grant

“Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it”
– Andrew Young

“The City of Rochester (Michigan) is considering a ban on smoking in the park because people leave their butts on the beach. ”
– Announcer, WJR Radio

“I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back. ”
– Anonymous

“Conway’s Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on – This person must be fired. ”
– Anonymous

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. ”
– Anonymous

“A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. ”
– Anonymous

“The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. ”
– Anonymous

“Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking. ”
– Anonymous

Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald. ”
– Anonymous

“The Earth is like a grain of sand, only bigger”.”
– Anonymous

“Don’t count your checks before they’re cashed.”
– Anonymous

Friends are God‘s ways of apologizing for our families.”
– Anonymous

“I got a lotta best friends. Some o’ them I don’t even hardly know!”
– Archie Bunker

“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind

“His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours. ”
– Arthur Baer

“Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful”
– Benjamin Disraeli

“If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some”
– Benjamin Franklin

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell

“The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you”
– Bette Midler

“Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing”
– Billy Rose

“You never become a howling success by just howling”
– Bob Harrington

“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches. ”
– Bove’s Theorem

“If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. ”
– Cannon’s Law

“Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife unless the one is to be sold, and the other to be buried.”
– Charles Caleb Colton

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. ”
– Charles Lamb

“I am a friend of the workingman, I would rather be his friend than be one. ”
– Clarence Darrow

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. ”
– Claude McDonald

“Tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them”
Communications axim

“Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”
– Cyril Northcote Parkinson/Parkinson’s Law

“I love California. I almost grew up in Phoenix.”
– Dan Quayle

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