More Funny Retirement Sayings And Quotations


More Funny Retirement Sayings And Quotations

Here are more funny retirement sayings and quotes to bring out the humor of the situation. Have a good laugh!

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. ”
– Abe Lemons

“You need some insecurity if you’re an actor. It keeps the pot boiling. I haven’t yet started to think about retiring. I was shocked when I heard about Paul Newman retiring at age 82. Most actors just fade away like old soldiers.”
– Al Pacino

“As long as I’m still able to have a hit on the radio and sell a few albums and some tickets, I don’t see that it would be worth retiring.”
– Alan Jackson

“When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.”
– Alexander Graham Bell

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”
– Andy Rooney

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”
– Ann Landers

“A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.”
– Anon

Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids‘ inheritance before I die!”
– Anon

“Every time I try to retire, or even think of retiring from acting, my agent comes up with a script.”
– Anthony Hopkins

“Preparation for old age should begin not later than one’s teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.”
– Arthur E. Morgan

“Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it. ”
– Bernard Baruch

“Why retire from something if you’re loving it so much and enjoying it so much, and you’re blessed with another group of people to work with like the gang on ‘Hot in Cleveland?’ Why would I think of retiring? What would I do with myself?”
– Betty White

“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ”
– Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

“I don’t know why people thought I was retiring.”
– Billy Joel

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”
– Bob Hope

“What do gardeners do when they retire? ”
– Bob Monkhouse

“First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ”
– Branch Rickey

“We need to tap the resource of current and retiring science and math professionals that have both content mastery and the practical experience to serve as effective teachers.”
– Cathy McMorris

“Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses.”
– Cato

“Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.”
– Charles Baxter

“In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.”
– Charles Francis Adams

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.’ ”
– Charles Lamb

“Viva la retirement, grab it by the horns and go for it.”
– Cheryl Marland

“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.”
– Chi Chi Rodriguez

“Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day.”

“I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. ”
– Danny McGorty

“Result for many Americans When They Punch in Their Data into a Retirement Calculator: According to your latest data if you retire today, you can live reasonably well until 5 p.m. tomorrow.”
– Dave Erhard

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ”
– Dean Martin

“I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to retire to. ”
– Doctor Who

“The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.”
– Doris Day

“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. ”
– Doug Larson

“He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. ”
– Douglas Adams

“Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. ”
– Douglas Pagels

“Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”
– Edward Stanley

“A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. ”
– Ella Harris

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