More Funny Retirement Sayings And Quotations

by allinspiration.com

“Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“For me retiring wasn’t hard once I knew that that was the decision I was going to make.”
– Gabriela Sabatini

“When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. ”
– Gail Sheehy

“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. ”
– Gene Perret

“I’m now as free as the breeze – with roughly the same income. ”
– Gene Perret

“In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It’s either that or buy a new golf ball. ”
– Gene Perret

“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. ”
– Gene Perret

“Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf. ”
– Gene Perret

“Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. ”
– Gene Perret

“Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home – forever.” ”
– Gene Perret

“When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you. ”
– Gene Perret

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.”
– George Burns

“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.”
– George Burns

“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. ”
– George Burns

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
– George Burns

“The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.”
– George Foreman

“The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.”
– Gilbert K. Chesterton

“I do wish I could tell you my age but it’s impossible. It keeps changing all the time.”
– Greer Garson

“There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!”
– Groucho Marx

“Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to. ”
– Harry Emerson Fosdick

“A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service. ”
– Harry Mahtar

“Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ”
– Harry Vardon

“I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. ”
– Hartman Jule

“Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself. ”
– Hartman Jule

“I have to struggle to change people’s perceptions of me. I grew very frustrated with the perception that I’m this shy, retiring, inhibited aristocratic creature when I’m absolutely not like that at all. I think I’m much more outgoing and exuberant than my image.”
– Helena Bonham Carter

“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ”
– Herbert Asquith

“Retiring for good wasn’t difficult. I knew at the time it was right. I was no longer capable of achieving the standards I’d set myself and there was no light at the end of the tunnel.”
– Ian Botham

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
– J. Lubbock

“My only [retirement] advice is to lay off alcohol, tobacco, and wild women. Any can kill you.”
– James Biggs

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