Funny Birthday Card Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”
– Mark Twain

“Well, I can’t say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.”
– Ned Flanders

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.”
– Ogden Nash

“The world is filled with folly and sin, And Love must cling, where it can, I say: For Beauty is easy enough to win; But one isn’t loved every day”
– Owen Meredith

“The world is filled with folly and sin, And Love must cling, where it can, I say: For Beauty is easy enough to win; But one isn’t loved every day”
– Owen Meredith

“I’ve never looked forward to a birthday like I’m looking forward to my new daughter‘s birthday, because two days after that is when I can apply for reinstatement.”
– Pete Rose

“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller

“You can’t go around the theatres handing out cards saying, ‘It isn’t my fault’. You go onto the next one.”
– Preston Sturges

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost

“Canon law itself says for one case of guilt, a priest can be dismissed from the clerical state. One.”
– Roger Mahony

“If you have nothing to say for yourself then kindly keep your mouth shut!”
– Roland Freisler

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
– Shirley Temple

“Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday.”
– Steven Wright

“We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse. Happy Birthday!”
– Unknown

“People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.”
– Unknown

“Did your cake cost you less than the candles? Then you are definitely old!”
– Unknown

“The nation’s best kept secret is… Your true age!”
– Unknown

“Do you know what happened when my horse tried to tap out your age? It got its leg fractured…!”
– Unknown

“You are as old as you can act.”
– Unknown

“I expect you to know older people are revered and respected in some cultures, so have a fantastic birthday, oh great one!”
– Unknown

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.”
– Unknown

“Here’s the secret to look younger: Dress like a teenager with baggy, oversize clothes they will hide your baggy, oversize body.”
– Unknown

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Unknown

“U can count on me to not send you one of those rude and insulting cards about getting another year older because I know how sensitive old people can be about their age.”

– Unknown

“You are growing old, but I know there is a younger person within you, who wonders… What the hell happened?”
– Unknown

“You are not old if you can read this without using a magnifying glass or even your spectacles!”
– Unknown

“Be thankful your birthday comes just once a year… Think how old you would be if it came every month.”
– Unknown

“My golden words for your birthday…”Smile while you still have teeth!”
– Unknown

“May this birthday not be your last!”
– Unknown

“Another year, another new place that aches.”
– Unknown

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