Famous Funny Quotes And Sayings To Bring Some Humor

by allinspiration.com

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. ”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about.”
– Sam Ewing

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”
– Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.”
– Mark Twain

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t DO anything with it.”
– M. Peck

“To ugly ducklings everywhere, Don’t worry about those fluffy yellow morons: They’ll never get to be swans.”
– Zoë Marriott

“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
– Helen Rowland

“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”
– Yogi Berra

“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.”
– Henny Youngman

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time.”
– Charles Schulz

“Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.”
– Alexander Woollcott

“I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.”
– William Mauldin

“If I had a dollar for every time someone came to me with not only a problem but also a possible solution to that problem, I’d have six dollars.”
– Brian Vaszily

“‘To do is to be.’ -Descartes ‘To be is to do.’ – Voltaire ‘Do be do be do.’”
– Frank Sinatra

“Everyone is entitled to their own incorrect opinion.”
– Brian Vaszily

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
– Mark Twain

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
– Woody Allen

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
– Groucho Marx

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill

“Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.”
– Ahmad

“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”
– Tom Lehrer

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”
– Albert Einstein

“Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.”
– Sara Henderson

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
– Woody Allen

“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.”
– Bill Mcglashen

“There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.”
– Mark Twain

“Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet.”
– Roger Miller

“The greatest thief this world ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.”
– Henry Wheeler Shaw

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