More Funny Birthday Sayings To Bring Humor

by allinspiration.com

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”
– Mark Twain

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”
– Mark Twain

“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
– Maurice Chevalier

“I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.”
– Mitch Hedberg

“A man is as old as he’s feeling,
A woman as old as she looks.”
– Mortimer Collings

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.”
– Ogden Nash

“To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

“The old believe everything; the middle- By aged suspect everything; the young know everything.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Thirty five is a very attractive age;
London society is full of women who have of their own
free choice remained thirty-five for years.”
– Oscar Wilde

“One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.”
– Oscar Wilde

“No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Thirty-five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I guess I don’t so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.”
– Peter Gabriel

“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller

“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.”
– R. C. Ferguson

“Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age.”
– Richard Armour

“The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.”
– Richard John Needham

“Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.”
– Robbert Oustin

” Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.”
– Rober Frost

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost

“Time and tide wait for no man,
but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.”
– Robert Frost

“Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.”
– Robert Southey

“When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.”
– Roz Doyle

“Never look a gift horse in the mouth!”
– Saint Jerome

“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair”
– Sam Ewing

“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Sir Norman Wisdom

“From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.”
– Sophie Tucker

“Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin’ across your face.”
– Steel Magnolias

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