Funny Teacher Retirement Jokes

by allinspiration.com

“Retire from work, but not from life…”
– M. K. Soni

“I think retirement beats the heck out of life after death, that’s for sure.”
– Martina Navratilova

“In retirement only money and symptoms are consequential.”
– Mason Cooley

“In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.”
– Mason Cooley

“At retirement, switching from “I must” to “I want” leaves me puzzled and uneasy.”
– Mason Cooley

”The company accountant is shy and retiring. He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring.”
– Milton Berle

“To retire is to die.”
– Pablo Casals

”The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.”
– Phyllis Diller

”When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.”
– R.C. Sherriff

”Retired is being tired twice, I’ve thought, first tired of working, then tired of not”
– Richard Armour

“Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought.. First tired of working, Then tired of not.”
– Richard Armour

”There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.”
– Robert Half

”Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves.”
– Robert Neelly Bella

“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.”
– Scott Elledge

“The hardest people to convince they are at retirement age are children at bedtime.”
– Shannon Fife

”Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap.”
– Simone De Beauvoir

“The key to retirement is to find joy in the little things.”
– Susan Miller

“Like life, retirement can be full of surprises. Take when you retire, for example.”
– Talbot Boggs

”Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over.”
– Unknown

”The money is no better in retirement but the hours are!”
– Unknown

”Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does.”
– Unknown

”He or she who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.”
– Unknown

“I wish to take this opportunity to extend my gratitude to you for your cooperation, understanding, and support during my employment here. I would also like to express my appreciation to my fellow teachers and other colleagues for their support and friendship throughout my stay here.”
– Unknown

“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.”
– Unknown

”He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.”
– Unknown

“These little monsters have given me so much grief this year, I’m giving them the wrong answers.”
– Unknown

“I Used to Teach — Now I Have No Class.”
– Unknown

“Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials — much to live on and much to live for. I believe that I now have both.”
– Unknown

“My important work is done here. Why hang around when there is so much more to do in retirement?”
– Unknown

“Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids’ inheritance before I die!”
– Unknown

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