Funny Life Quotes And Sayings To Make You Laugh

by allinspiration.com

“Don’t let someone be a priority in your life when you are still an option in their life.”
– Unknown

“Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, you’ll be right.”
– Unknown

“People who snore always fall asleep first. ”
– Unknown

“I Brake For No Apparent Reason.”
– Unknown

“Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush…I mean it about the toothbrush.”
– Unknown

“Don’t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn’t want to know? Anyhow, I’m busting for a pee.”
– Unknown

“A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.”
– Unknown

“Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!”
– Unknown

“Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.”
– Unknown

“I want to make a Facebook account and name it Nobody so that when I like some post, it would say Nobody Likes This.”
– Unknown

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.”
– Unknown

“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.”
– Unknown

“An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!’”
– Unknown

“You can’t have everything….where would you put it?”
– Unknown

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.”
– Unknown

“If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.”
– Unknown

“Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.”
– Unknown

“An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.”
– Unknown

“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.”
– Unknown

“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
– Unknown

“You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?”
– Unknown

“A day without sunshine is like, well, night.”
– Unknown

“If you can’t live without me, Why aren’t you dead yet?”
– Unknown

“Love your enemies. It’ll make ‘em crazy.”
– Unknown

“Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.”
– Unknown

“Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink. ”
– Unknown

“I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?”
– Unknown

“Death is a once in a lifetime experience.”
– Unknown

“If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I stuck with the pits?”
– Unknown

“Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.”
– Unknown

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