Funny Love Quotes And Sayings To Bring Laughter

by allinspiration.com

“I detest ‘love lyrics.’ I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on ‘love lyrics.”
– Frank Zappa

“The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What ..does a woman want?”
– Freud

“Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

“Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.”
– Fulton J. Sheen

“Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.”
– George Burns

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city.”
– George Burns

“Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.”
– George Carlin

“Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.”
– Glenn Beck

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
– Groucho Marx

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.”
– H.L. Mencken

“A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.”
– Helen Rowland

“A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.”
– Helen Rowland

“Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.”
– Hellfire Hotchkiss (Mark Twain)

“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.”
– Henry Kissinger

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
– Henry Youngman

“The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.”
– Israel Zangwill

“When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you. And she never did.”
– James Fineous Mcbride

“A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody’.”
– James Thurber

“If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years.”
– Jay Leno

“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.”
– Jean Kerr

“Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.”
– Jim Backus

“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”
– Jimmy Durante

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
– Joan Crawford

“It’s been so long since I made love, I can’t even remember who gets tied up.”
– Joan Rivers

“Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.”
– Joan Rivers

“Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.”
– John Barrymore

“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.”
– Jonathan Carroll

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