Funny Love Quotes And Sayings To Bring Laughter

by allinspiration.com

“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.”
– Josh Billings

“No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.”
– Joyce Brothers

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.”
– La Rochefoucauld

“I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the f***** deli without hearing or seeing me.”
– Lady Gaga

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin

“There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.”
– Lily Tomlin

“All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.”
– Lord Byron

“The only people who make love all the time are liars.”
– Louis Jordan

“Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.”
– Mae West

“Marriage is a fine institution – but I’m not ready for an institution.”
– Mae West

“Marriage is the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world.”
– Malcolm Bradbury

“Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?”
– Mickey Rooney

“My wife and I have sex almost every day of the week,” Milton Berle once said. “Yes, almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday”
– Milton Berle

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”
– Milton Berle

“Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.”
– Mirabeau

“It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses.”
– Mrs. Patrick Campbell

“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby…”
– Natalie Wood

“Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.”
– Nonymous

“I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband out of.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.”
– Patrick Murray

“A proof that experience is of no use, is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.”
– Paul Bourget

“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.”
– Pearl Bailey

“Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.”
– Phyllis Diller

“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
– Phyllis Diller

“Love is a grave mental disease.”
– Plato

“Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?”
– Rita Rudner

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
– Rita Rudner

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