Funny Motivational Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“In the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
– Unknown

“If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.”
– Jim Eason

“If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, “You are wrong.” This method works every time.”
– Henry Link

“He who laughs, lasts. ”
– Mary P. Poole

“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. ”
– Marie Osmond

“Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I’ll give you a stock clerk. ”
– J.C. Penney

“If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.”
– John Atkinson

“When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either. ”
– Leo Burnett

“Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare. ”
– Japanese proverb

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? ”
– Steven Wright

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice. ”
– Wayne Dyer

“Success comes in cans, failure in can’ts.”
– Unknown

“These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I’m going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I’m going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I’ll figure out how to do it. ”
– Randy Glassberger

“I was thinking one day and I realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself.”
– Unknown

“You can either take it as a way to motivate yourself or be happy with what you’ve got.”
– Jeremy Bonderman

“I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it. ”
– Jonathan Winters

“There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. ”
– Mary Kay Ash

“If you rest, you rust. ”
– Helen Hayes

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. ”
– Zig Ziglar

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time. ”
– Joe Girard

“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. ”
– Will Rogers

“There is more to life than increasing its speed. ”
– Mohandas K. Gandhi

“Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. ”
– Mae West

“Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought. ”
– Henri L. Bergson

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. ”
– Albert Einstein

“And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. ”
– Abraham Lincoln

“It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men. ”
– Mae West

“In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away. ”
– Shing Xiong

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it! ”
– Jim Goodwin

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it. ”
– George F. Burns

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