The Communal Sharing of Enchantment (continued)

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

A speaker once compared giving constructive criticism to that of a sandwich. The first slice of bread is telling the person something honest and positive about that person. The filling consists of gently leading into a suggestion or sharing ones' feelings about how something is being done. The second slice of bread again finishes with positive reaction or remark to that person. How desperately most of us need to practice the art of positive criticism. 

Learning to communicate effectively to maintain each other’s integrity and self esteem goes a long way toward creating and spreading positive, productive energy and making the world a better place!

Exercise 1: Successfully Connect with Others 
This is a very simple communication exercise that requires the consent and cooperation of a partner. Begin by allowing the other person to talk about something important to him or her for at least three minutes. The topic can be anything: their opinions about a complicated subject; their expert knowledge in some field; an anecdote about something that happened in the past; or their personal feelings about something or someone. After you have listened, give back only positive feedback. This is not easy, as we often find it easier to be an 'expert' in criticism. However, it greatly enhances our mood to receive positive feedback. Reverse roles, and allow yourself to talk for three minutes, uninterrupted. Now it is your turn for positive feedback. I can guarantee it feels better than criticism. Try it. You'll like it! 


Exercise 2: Enhancing the Human "Touch" of Communication
This September pick a day and have the fun of creating a special meal with family or friends. Carefully set the table. You could even put a flower vase in the middle or use a cloth table covering. Perhaps you could also start the meal with each person giving a blessing or stating a positive feeling about being together. Stretch and be generous of spirit -- maybe you could invite the neighbor that would never expect to be included. During the meal tell positive stories about the 'old' days or share funny stories about growing up. The immediacy of this type of human 'touch' can turn an ordinary day into an enchanted one.

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