The Communal Sharing of Enchantment

by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein   04 Jun 2004
http://www.enchantedself.com

Mentoring and learning from each other is much more that taking a course or explicitly giving someone advice or help. Almost every moment of every day when we are with people has the potential for becoming a mentoring or a learning situation. We talk, gesture, and involve ourselves in many ways with many people. The exchange can be uplifting, informative, reassuring, kind or it can be depressing, depleting, annoying, bothersome and more! I'm sure you can think of both some good and some bad times with other people!

I teach that experiencing The Enchanted Self is unique to each person. We all have our unique ways of feeling comfortable with ourselves, when we know that our mind, body, heart and spirit are all lined up! We know that we are in stride with ourselves and our purpose in life for that moment. There is another level of Enchantment that we do reach, though and this can not be done alone. It is the shared positive experience of enchantment.

Can you even imagine what our world be like if everyone learned to tap into their Enchanted Selves often and while they were with others? I think the world would be more positive, a place where people would communicate in a friendly manner, respectful of one another's uniqueness and feelings. 

Let's bring our discussion back to times we have all experienced. Haven't you encountered people who exude confidence and a sense of well being? I bet you left the encounter feeling happier and more positive. Perhaps the next person you met had the opportunity to catch some of that positive energy. The truth is we all catch each other's moods and reactions. People often talk about how a smile brings on a smile. When we connect with our Enchanted Self, the joy and confidence we feel spreads to others. It becomes important to learn how to actually bring our positive states of being to the surface in such a way that others are encouraged to join in. Certainly we all respond better to enthusiasm and praise than disparaging comments and criticisms. Unfortunately, most of us are already experts on negative thinking and harmful criticism. Being in a good mood and then finding one's self in a negative situation is a difficult spot to be in. How quickly a positive state of mind can be interrupted! 

For instance, we may be in a wonderful mood only to enter the workplace or home and be met by a scowl, a frown, or negative remark from a coworker or family member. How quickly one's positive state of well being can dissipate. For example, if I walk into the house in a good mood and my mother, or my wife, or my husband, immediately barrages me with a list of things that I didn't take care of, or criticizes me for chores I didn't accomplish to their satisfaction, I will find the experience a clear interruption of my positive state of being. However, if someone were to gently say, "Can you give me a few minutes? I want to go over some of the chores we had agreed to split," or "I want to check with you as to what has been done or what has not been done," then I may be able to maintain not only my state of well being, but be in a good enough mood to help improve the other person. 

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