Silly Signs

1. In a hotel lobby:
"The lift is being fixed for next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

2. In a hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."

3. In a hotel:
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."

4. In a hotel:
"You are very invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

5. In a dry cleaner:
"Please drop your trousers here for best results."

6. Outside a clothing shop:
"Order your summer suits quick. Because of big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

7. In a tailor shop:
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

8. In a hotel:
"Because of impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."

9. An ad by a dentist:
"Teeth extracted by the latest methodists."

10.In a zoo:
"Please do not feed animals. If you have suitable food give it to the guard on duty."

11.From a karaoke bar song list
"I'd Like to Teach the Wound to Sing; What Kind of Foot Am I."

12.In a bar:
"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

13.In an airline ticket office:
"We take your bags and send them to all directions."

14.In a temple:
"It is forbidden to enter a woman. Even a foreigner if dressed as a man."

15.In a restaurant menu:
"Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; beef rashersbeaten up in the country people's fashion."