Witty Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”
– Joyce Meyer

“Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force … except occasionally.”
– Katherine Whitehorn

“No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone; any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.”
– Kin Hubbard

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
– Lily Tomlin

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. ”
– Lily Tomlin

“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils”
– Louis Hector Berlioz

“A woman in love can’t be reasonable–or she probably wouldn’t be in love. ”
– Mae West

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”
– Mae West

“I speak two languages, Body and English.”
– Mae West

“A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one ”
– Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
– Mark Twain

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
– Mark Twain

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
– Maryon Pearson

“You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.”
– Melanie Clark

“Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty. ”
– Mignon McLaughlin

“A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.”
– Milton Berle

“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.”
– Natalie Wood

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”
– Niccolo Machiavelli

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman. ”
– Oscar Wilde

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
– Oscar Wilde

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I can resist everything except temptation.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”
– Oscar Wilde

“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.”
– Pablo Picasso

“To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.”
– Paul Ehrlich

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