Short Funny Sayings For Quick Laughs

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Short Funny Sayings For Quick Laughs


“I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body.”
– Elayne Boosler

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
– Erma Bombeck

“You are what you eat. Avoid nuts.”
Food Derick makuu

“A bachelor’s life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner.”
– Francis Bacon

“A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized”
– Fred Allen

“When life gives you melons… you might be dyslexic!”
– Funny Life Saying

love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you”
Funny Love Saying

“Some people live upside down. They like to talk out their ass and the only thing that comes outta their mouth is shit.”
– Funny Sayings

“Chess is mental torture.”
– Gary Kasparov

“Do not try to live for ever. You will not succeed.”
George Bernard Shaw

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city”
– George Burns

“I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.”
– George Burns

“I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”
– George Burns

“Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.”
– George Lichtenberg

“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”
– George W. Bush

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.”
– George W. Bush

“All writers should be put in a box and thrown in the sea.”
– Gordon B. Hinckley

“Never have children, only grandchildren.”
– Gore Vidal

“If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!”
– H. L. Mencken

“Love is photogenic. It needs darkness room to develop,”
– H. L. Mencken

“All power corrupts, but we need electricity.”
– Haythum R. Khalid

“He who laughs last didn’t get it.”
– Helen Giangregorio

“A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.”
– Helen Rowland

“One man’s folly is another man’s wife.”
– Helen Rowland

“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it”
– Henny Youngman

Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!”
– Homer Simpson

“If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it – now be quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers!”
– Homer Simpson

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