Sarcastic Sayings And Quotes

by allinspiration.com

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– Irvin S Cobb

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
– Forrest Tucker

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
– Billy Wilder

“The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn’t have to watch.”
– Dave Barry

“It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.”
– Caron de Beaumarchais

“Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”
– Ambrose Bierce

“Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.”
– Ambrose Bierce

“Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.”
– Samuel Butler

“I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don’t like.”
– Jean Cocteau

“The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.”
– J Paul Getty

“When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.”
– Eric Hoffer

“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”
– Kin Hubbard

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”
– Oscar Levant

“Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in memory as the wish to forget it.”
– Montaigne

“The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually becomes a cat.”
– Ogden Nash

“I wish we were better strangers.”
– Unknown

“I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.”
– Unknown

“I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.”
– Woody Allen

“As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree’ — probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”
– Woody Allen

“I don’t know why we are here, but I’m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.”
– Ludwig Wittgenstein

“Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.”
– Frank Lloyd Wright

“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”
– Vince Lombardi

“A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.”
– Gore Vidal

“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.”
– Goethe

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
– Drew Carey

“Stay with me; I want to be alone.”
– Joey Adams

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
– Steven Wright

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

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