More Funny Life Quotes And Sayings To Tickle You

by allinspiration.com

“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.”
– Thomas Paine

“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.”
– George Carlin

“Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.”
– Aimee Mullins

“Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.”
– Anonymous

“God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt.”
– Unknown

“If you can make a girl laugh – you can make her do anything.”
– Marilyn Monroe

“It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.”
– Unknown

“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
– George Globol

“I both love and do not love and am mad and not mad.”
– Unknown

“I got caught kissing, like by my parents. It was so horrible. It’s so embarrassing, I’m blushing.”
– Unknown

“TV has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”
– Ann Landers

“Cheese, wine, and a friend must be old to be good.”
– Cuban Proverb

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“Chaos, Panic, Pandemonium – my work here is done.”
– Unknown

“Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.”
– Sue Murphy

“If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.”
– Yogi Berra

“If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.”
– Dave Allen

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.”
– Carl Gustav Jung

“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.”
– George W. Bush

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”
– Unknown

“Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.”
– Unknown

“The road to success is always under construction.”
– Unknown

“Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!”
– Unknown

“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
– Unknown

“Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.”
– Unknown

“I stopped fighting my inner demons, were on the same side now.”
– Unknown

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
– Unknown

“It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!”
– Unknown

“Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.”
– Unknown

“Constipated People Don’t Give A crap.”
– Unknown

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

Follow this site