Mark Twain Quotations And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.”
– Mark Twain

“Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”
– Mark Twain

“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”
– Mark Twain

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
– Mark Twain

“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”
– Mark Twain

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
– Mark Twain

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.”
– Mark Twain

“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
– Mark Twain

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.”
– Mark Twain

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through ones head.”
– Mark Twain

“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”
– Mark Twain

“It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”
– Mark Twain

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
– Mark Twain

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
– Mark Twain

“Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.”
– Mark Twain

“Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.”
– Mark Twain

“The government is merely a servant merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.”
– Mark Twain

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
– Mark Twain

“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
– Mark Twain

“There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.”
– Mark Twain, Puddnhead Wilson

“A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results. So he goes to work. To write a novel? No that is a thought which comes later; in the beginning he is only proposing to tell a little tale, a very little tale, a six-page tale. But as it is a tale which he is not acquainted with, and can only find out what it is by listening as it goes along telling itself, it is more than apt to go on and on and on till it spreads itself into a book. I know about this, because it has happened to me so many times.”
– Mark Twain, Puddnhead Wilson and Other Tales

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