Funny Birthday Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!”
– Jaw-Din

“Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.”
– Jean Ritcher

“I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!”
– Jenne Petell

“Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.”
– Jennifer Yane

“Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers

“For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
– John Glenn

“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”
– Johnny Carson

“Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.”
– Joseph Cossman

“What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once!”
– Joseph Cossman

“At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.”
– Jossyboy

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.”
– Leo Rosenberg

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.”
– Lucy Larcom

“They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.”
– Malcolm Cowley

“Old age is not for sissies.”
– Malcolm Forbes

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain

“Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of eighty, and gradually approach eighteen.”
– Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
– Mark Twain

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”
– Mark Twain

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.”
– Martin Buxbaum

“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”
– Mary Schmich

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
– Maurice Chevalier

“Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!”
– Melissa

“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”
– Muhammad Ali

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.”
– Ogden Nash

“One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell anything.”
– Oscar Wilde

“The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller

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