Dating Quotes And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

“I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat‘s litter box. Ah, ’twas a great night. I’ll never forget dancing with an albino under the stars.”
– Jarod Kintz

“I remember the second time I took Agatha out. I wanted to go to Dairy Queen, and she wanted to go to Burger King. In the end we settled for wieners and clams at Johnny Hermaphrodite’s.”

– Jarod Kintz

“There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you’re Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it’s your relationship that’s insecure, not his bank account.”
– Greg Behrendt

“Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.”
– Greg Behrendt

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
– Shannon L. Alder

“There are three ways you can get along with a girl: one, shut up and listen to what she has to say; two, tell her you like what she’s wearing; and three, treat her to really good food…If you do all that and still don’t get the results you want, better give up.”
– Haruki Murakami

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”
– Rita Rudner

“If you don’t want to tear off the clothes of the person you’re on a date with and jump into bed with them, then what’s the point? I’d never date; instead, I’d have lots of good friends and hug them a lot and life would be easier and neater and uncomplicated.”
– Rachel Machacek

“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.
– Jarod Kintz

“Just because you’re in the market for a minivan doesn’t mean you can’t test drive a hotrod.”
– Inez Kelley

“I listen to the things people want out of love these days and they blow my mind. I go to the pub with the boys from the squad and listen while they explain, with minute precision, exactly what shape a woman should be, what bits she should shave how, what acts she should perform on which date and what she should always or never do or say or want; I eavesdrop on women in cafes while they reel off lists of which jobs a man is allowed, which cars, which labels, which flowers and restaurants and gemstones get the stamp of approval, and I want to shout, Are you people out of your tiny minds?”
– Tana French

“Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she’d been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain – so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn’t, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.”
– Derek Landy

“At that moment, I hated dating more than doing my laundry”
– Meredith Schorr

“Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say “good morning” in public without being liquored up.”
– Amelia Gray

“Sometimes we assume that the new person in our life is better for us because they are totally different from the last person we dated. Only later do we see that we have chosen a different version of the same thing and they both leave us unsatisfied.”
– Kristen Crockett

“I spent the weekend after our date wishing I could stab him with my fluffy-duck pen and staring at the phone hoping he’d call. Dating is a very tricky business.”
– Cath Crowley

“I’m always looking for meaningful one-night stands”
– Dudley Moore

“It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something.”
– Catherine Gilbert Murdock

“A guy should make the woman he is dating feel different and more special than anyone else in his life”
– Samantha Daniels

“I peeled the skin off a grape in slippery little triangles, and I understood then that I would be undressing every item of food I could because my clothes would be staying on.”
– Aimee Bender

“Always carry a book on a date so that when you get bored you can slip into the Ladies for a read.”
– Sharon Stone

“I asked the girl at the coffee shop out on a date. Unfortunately she said no, probably because I asked her out to coffee.
– Jarod Kintz

“For our fourth date, I said I wanted Italian, and she said she wanted Chinese. We decided to compromise and meet at the movie theater after we’d both eaten.”
– Jarod Kintz

“Now that I think about it, maybe he is a werewolf. I can picture him lunging over the moors in hot pursuit of his prey, and I’m certain that he wouldn’t think twice about eating an innocent bystander. I’ll watch him closely at the next full moon. He’s asked me to go dancing tomorrow–perhaps I should wear a high collar. Oh, that’s vampires, isn’t it? I think I am a little giddy. (After meeting Mr. Markham V. Reynolds, Jr.)”
– Mary Ann Shaffer

“… you’ve experienced the single scene out there – it’s blood test and background checks and references and ‘Please pee in this cup before we can go on a date’ screenings, all clinical and stripped bare of any romance.”
– Katie MacAlister

“A man who won’t lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.”
– Olin Miller

“I went on a blind date—with a descendent of Helen Keller.
– Jarod Kintz

“Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.”
– Bernard Branson

“I took it for granted that there must be a few men left in the world who had that kind of strength. I assumed that those men would also be looking for women with principle. I did not want to be among the marked-down goods on the bargain table, cheap because they’d been pawed over. Crowds collect there. It is only the few who will pay full price. “You get what you pay for.”
– Elisabeth Elliot

“Yes, I totally would date a fan! I get this question a lot, but I’m always saying yes.”
– Cody Simpson

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